Hi guys, how’s life kicking your ass. Mine not so well, mess up a lot. I haven’t had time to reorganize my time. Sudesh asked me to post something about ‘being a father’ based on my own experience with 3-monster name Power Ranger Red (now 8 years old), Power Ranger Pink (6 years old) and Spiderman (4 years old).

How do I start… hmmm let me think. What do you do when your kids ask you " when shall we arrive?" Then I will say " 3.00 p.m." What do you feel when your kids ask you the same question 3 times? My wife will start raising her voice. How do you feel when your kids ask you the same damn question more than 100 times while you driving to your hometown (about 500 km from my house). My wife will hang herself… hahaha

That is me. I can answer each and every question (repeated most of the time) that my kids ask me with politeness and happy face.

These monsters never knew tired except at night (around 10p.m sleep) play and fight each other. Do I scold my kids? Yes and if it is out of control I will use belt or clothe hanger or rattan and ran amok hitting the door with fierce face and big eyes, running around the house. Crazy doh… hahaha

It is an acting part of me, never actually hit them, result is about 30% only because they knew I love them and wont hurt them. So what shall I do to scare them off so that they will listen to me? My officemate name Sunmugam, an Indian guy with big beard, also as my neighbor. When I first time took my kids to him, I ask Sunmugam to act like a mad guy with a broomstick, my kids really scare. Each time I took my kids strolling around the neighborhood, I stop by at Sunmugam’s house and seriously my kids really scare.

So, each time the monsters out of control I will tell them that I am going to call Sunmugam to come and pick them. 99% of the time the monsters will stop fighting…. hahaha is that wonderful. J

I will stop here for now… shall continue in few days

adios

The concept of rewards and punishments is integral parts of Islamic Aqidah as there are natural consequences for each or our actions. This same wisdom can be applied to the area of parenting.

The Messenger of Allah SAW said that Allah SWT says:

Allah's mercy can be seen in the above Hadith Qudsi and this should be reflected in a parent's tarbiyah as well. Rewards are effective in not only increasing the occurrence of positive behaviour, but also in decreasing negative behaviour and increasing a child's self-esteem. The most effective rewards for children are those that are the easiest to give: praise, encouragement, hugs, thanks, appreciation and more.

Many of the inappropriate behaviors of young children can simply be ignored or disregarded. The Prophet SAW, is our best example in this regard.

Anas bin Malik RA said:

Anas RA said further:

We may want to compare this to how we react to or interact with our own children. For young children, in particular, it is really counterproductive to berate, question, and reprimand when they really have little understanding as to why they acted in a certain way. Simply ignoring the behaviour may be the most appropriate response.

Another related technique is to redirect the child to something else in the environment to draw attention away from the undesirable.

It is important to realise that within these general guidelines there are about as many ways to parent as there are parents. Parents need to take into consideration the unique personalities, dispositions, and gifts of each child when deciding upon a particular approach. What may work with one child may not necessarily be effective with another. It is also imperative to remember that our children are one of the greatest tests that we have from Allah SWT, and we need to continually ask Him for assistance and guidance for our children and ourselves. This is the most effective and powerful tool for tarbiyah.

Parents of young children of pre-school age should have only few expectations in terms of behavior and acquisition of knowledge due to the cognitive limitations at this age.

This does not mean that children should just be allowed to run about and do as they please; they still require guidelines and boundaries. To further explain - care should be taken regarding the methods that are used to raise children and the values that are instilled from the very beginning.

It is interesting to note that the Arabic term tarbiyah, which is often used to mean teaching or training, generally refers to growth, increase, nourishment, and cultivation. This relates to the physical, intellectual, emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects of an individual. When thinking of growth and cultivation, this implies that something has already been planned or is already present (natural fitrah).

Tarbiyah then refers to the various methods that are used to watch over and attend to a child until he or she becomes prepared to take responsibility and behave in complete submission to and worship of Allah SWT.

The following suggestions are techniques that may be used for tarbiyah for early childhood.

Play should be the primary emphasis during this time in a child's life since this is the means through which they gain an understanding of the world around them. Pretend or imaginative play is the most common type of play during this stage and this directly impacts cognitive, social, and psychological development.

Children will often mimic or imitate the behavior of adults or other children around them in their play, which is their way of preparing for their particular roles in life. Girls will most often imitate their mother, and boys will follow in the footsteps of their father. You will see girls playing with dolls, dressing and feeding them and boys in more rough-and-tumble physical types of play. These gender roles develop at an early age and are a natural part of Allah's plan for the dilterentiation of responsibilities for men and women. These and other types of play should be encouraged and fostered in young children.

The saying "Prevention is the best medicine" is true not only in the medical field, but also within psychology. There are many steps that parents can take to prevent misbehavior and avoid the disruption that can be caused within the family.

First of all, children need predictability, structure, and guidelines because this gives them a sense of security and a feeling that there is order in the world. When this is present they are less likely to feel anxious or stressed which, in turn, will decrease the likelihood of inappropriate behavior. Children will sometimes act chaotic if they are in a chaotic environment.

Secondly, probably the most common reason for misbehavior is to gain attention from a parent or other adults. A defining feature of being human is the need for social contact, approval, and attention that is already present at birth. When parents fulfil this need adequately, a child will feel content and be more likely to engage in solitary play. If a child is not able to obtain attention through positive behavior, a young girl may lie or she may utilize negative behavior for this purpose. Parents can fulfill this need by spending quality time with their child e.g. talking, playing, reading, enjoying nature, and much more. Quality is often more important than quantity.

Hi guys… hey my January sucks you know that, my life already mess up since my kids’ first day school. Its takes quite some times for me to adjust my life.

This is for you guy… created by me J

1. suddenly a patrol car stop you and say " I just wanna know that you are still in town"
2. your mom keep on calling you to ‘come home’
3. a guy from a bank calling you few times and leaving a message to you "how’s your business"
4. your kids starts asking question " you still love us do you dad"
5. Friends and neighbors start coming to your house and note down all the things you have.
6. No more credit cards forms available in your mailbox
7. Pizza delivery says that they did not cover your area anymore
8. The word "access denied" pop up each time you try to login
9. Priests from few church start coming to your house and offer helps

10. You are really afraid to go to sleep as you don’t want to wake up at ‘another place’

Hi guys…

What a lovely Monday I have… with traffic jam and kids screaming don’t want to go to school. I slept at 9.30 last night and woke up at 5.30 with 10 times awaken by my kids asking for milk, water, pee and so on… hmmm that’s life

Today I want to share with you some of the taboo given by my grandparent when I was a kid. Kinda scary and we have to follow it at that time but now… I knew why they have this kind of taboo.

1. Never cut your fingernail at night, your life gonna be short.

• we use nail clipper to cut our fingernail, they (grandpa grandma back in 1950-1960) use knife and they don’t have electricity. What happen when you try to cut your nail in the dark with the knife, cut your hand?

1. Never sweep your floor at night, you will be poor

• when no electricity (no light) then you might sweep your money on the floor

1. Never throw a stone at dust, you might hit ghost head.

• Not a ghost head, you might injured farmers coming back from paddy field

1. Please closed all the window at dust, otherwise ghost will enter your house

• mosquito normally enter houses late evening, definitely you cannot get sleep when they attack you

1. Young girl never sing inside the kitchen (while cooking) you will end up marry an old guy.

• definitely your cooking gonna be spoilt

1. When you yawn please put your hand on your mouth otherwise ghost will enter your mouth.

• it’s not the ghost, kinda disgusting showing your inside mouth to others

1. Never pee while you in the water, ghost water will eat your t**t

• its not healthy…

1. Never put any facial or talcum when you want to go to sleep, you going to die tomorrow because your soul cannot recognize you

• ha ha ha… you mom gonna get scare

Hi guys…

What a lovely Monday I have… with traffic jam and kids screaming don’t want to go to school. I slept at 9.30 last night and woke up at 5.30 with 10 times awaken by my kids asking for milk, water, pee and so on… hmmm that’s life

Today I want to share with you some of the taboo given by my grandparent when I was a kid. Kinda scary and we have to follow it at that time but now… I knew why they have this kind of taboo.

1. Never cut your fingernail at night, your life gonna be short.

• we use nail clipper to cut our fingernail, they (grandpa grandma back in 1950-1960) use knife and they don’t have electricity. What happen when you try to cut your nail in the dark with the knife, cut your hand?

1. Never sweep your floor at night, you will be poor

• when no electricity (no light) then you might sweep your money on the floor

1. Never throw a stone at dust, you might hit ghost head.

• Not a ghost head, you might injured farmers coming back from paddy field

1. Please closed all the window at dust, otherwise ghost will enter your house

• mosquito normally enter houses late evening, definitely you cannot get sleep when they attack you

1. Young girl never sing inside the kitchen (while cooking) you will end up marry an old guy.

• definitely your cooking gonna be spoilt

1. When you yawn please put your hand on your mouth otherwise ghost will enter your mouth.

• it’s not the ghost, kinda disgusting showing your inside mouth to others

1. Never pee while you in the water, ghost water will eat your t**t

• its not healthy…

1. Never put any facial or talcum when you want to go to sleep, you going to die tomorrow because your soul cannot recognize you

• ha ha ha… you mom gonna get scare

Hi guys, how’s life kickin’ your butt. Kinda weird posting somethin’ using your name… J

Airasia has one million free seating traveling around asia from April till October and I have to book as soon as possible. I think I’m going to Thailand and 3 places covered by Airasia, that is Chieng Mai, Bangkok and Phuket. And I think I’m going to Chiang Mai.

So gals wanna help me with this vacation. I’m alone (my wife and kids don’t want to go). I don’t have friends in Chiang Mai and I don’t know how Chiang Mai looks like. I’m thinking of 3D 2N (thinking of 4D and 3N)

Otherwise, I’m becoming a backpacker (lonely planet) and sleep at the dark alley with rats and thrash

Rules For A Perfect Day

by Tom Hopkins

Just for today...

I will try to live and delight in the reality of being alive. My past is forever gone, my future an uncertainty, so I will be happy and thankful for each moment.

I will not allow negative input into my mind... happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy.

I will be thankful to God for my health, my loved ones, my business, and my country. I will also be thankful for any pain in crisis that helps me grow because God has said, be thankful in all things.

I will take care of my body, realizing the importance of the words moderation and balance, knowing that as I bring my flesh under control, how much easier it will be to control my will and my actions.

I will treat everyone I meet today the way I would like to be treated. I will strive to have them like themselves better when they're with me.

I will avoid gossip, jealousy, and negative thinking. Most people don't think about what they think about. Today, I will make a conscious effort to hold loving and beautiful thoughts in my mind.

I will write down my priorities; thinking of my loved ones and my responsibilities. I may not get everything done, but I will do the most productive thing possible at every given moment.

I will strive to humble myself before others, controlling my ego and making other people feel important.

I will spend time in study, learning how to better serve my fellowman. I know my growth in all areas is in direct proportion to the service I give to others.

I will not take rejection personally. I am first and foremost in the people business and, thus, realize they can only reject my proposal and not me. I will keep on keepin' on.

I will spend time in prayer, asking God to let others see the light of His shining love through me.

Hi guys…

I read Ink posts this morning and I want to share with you a really intelligent scam about 4 years ago. Their target is average income family and live in suburban area. I think the total lost is about RM 1 million. It becomes really big because it involved lots of victims.

Their module is very simple; you have to be a member before you can get a discount card. To be a member you have to pay about RM 150.00 and they use a pyramid system. Introducer will receive a bonus point and be under him. The lowest rank is bronze member, then silver member, then gold member, after that is platinum, then if you have 5 or more platinum member under you then you are going to be a diamond… the thing will grew when you have lots of member under you.

They also give you a pamphlet on where you will get a discount and points (petrol station, bookstore, and hypermarket).

Lots of people entered this because of the discount given and redeem of point. They give a launching date (about 3 month before it actually launch). They have all kind of information; sweet talk and my father in law’s family are all in (about 10 person). Imagine if 10 person you will get RM 1500.00, 100 person, 1000 person, 10,000 person. They are really active at that time.

Then suddenly all gone, no such company and no such discount given. The card is useless, check with petrol station or hypermarket no such agreement. They are actually just 4 person involve, a woman (secretary) others claim to be a lecturer, Bank Manager and a businessman.

Till now I still chase out any direct selling people coming to my house…

Tagged by Appletree (why me???)

I hate people tag me… seem like u playing cops and robbers, running and tagged

Wokey u wanna know about me

1. I am 34 but still love comic books and cartoons. I love to read X-Men, Wolverine, and Hong Kong comics. Doremon, Shi Chan… hmmm
2. I always dream of having 4 wives… its true okey… lol. Right now I have only 1 wife, so appletree, saycheese, laydeepulse, nefri… are u gals still available
3. Never in my life I taste drug or beer (alcoholic drinks) and never in my life I have sex before marriage (still virgin at the time of marriage… lol) and till now never had sex other than my wife… J
4. Few times death in front of me… It is really scary.
5. I am a video game maniac, I can play PS 2 or from pc without stop from dust till down (any games will do)… and I am also an Internet maniac… that is why I don’t have pc and video games at home…. Its really really crazy.

Errr… that’s all folks, bonus question for u… WHEN is my next matrimony?