Why is President Bush talking about an Islamic caliphate?

And what does the word mean?

By Lisa Miller and Matthew Philips

Newsweek

Oct. 12, 2006 - When President George W. Bush starts using fifty-cent words in press conferences, one has to wonder why, and on Wednesday, during his Rose Garden appearance, he used the word "caliphate" four times. The enemy, he said—by which he clearly meant the Islamic terrorist enemy—wants to "extend the caliphate," "establish a caliphate," and "spread their caliphate." Caliphate? Really?

Many people live long, fruitful lives without once using the word caliphate. Almost no one, with the exception of our president and some of his advisers, uses it as a pejorative.

As NEWSWEEK reported last month, the president and the people who prep him are still clearly casting about for the right phrase to pin on America’s elusive enemy.  "Axis of evil" is outdated by now. "Islamist," the preferred choice of scholars, has been deemed too jargon and academic. "Islamofascist" is a recent favorite, and in a speech last month the president used it as punctuation in a litany of other tags, notably "Islamic radicalism" and "militant jihadism."

The beauty of "caliphate" is that no one but students of Islamic history have much more than a vague idea of what it means. "Bush has been successful in defining terms in his own way," said Steve Ebbins, a former Democratic speechwriter. "[The Bush administration] has captured the language. If you control the language, you control the message and are able to sway people’s attitude toward your policy. It’s a policy endorsing mechanism." Until last January, the president rarely used it, if ever. Since then, he’s used it more than 15 times.

A caliphate, according to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, is the "office or dominion of a caliph"; a caliph is "a successor of Muhammad ... [the] spiritual head of Islam." Simply put, the caliph is Islam’s deputy to the world. After the Prophet Muhammad died in 632 AD, his father-in-law, Abu Bakr, became the first caliph. (At the heart of the schism between Sunni and Shia Muslims, even today, is the question of succession: who has the right to become Islam’s caliph?) From the time of the Prophet’s death until the Mongols sacked Baghdad in 1258, caliphs ruled over Muslims and presided over the Muslim expansion throughout the Middle East, Asia, Africa and Europe. These were the caliphates; some beneficent, some warmongering, in concept not unlike any other empire or dynasty.

In fairness, Bush isn’t the first person in recent history to appropriate the word caliphate and use it as a weapon. Osama bin Laden did it himself, most notably three years ago, in his statement to the United Sates via Al-Jazeera. "Baghdad, the seat of the caliphate, will not fall to you, God willing," he said, "and we will fight you as long as we carry our guns." Bin Laden’s rhetoric evoked, as it often does, an earlier, golden era of Islam, one that exists more in his imagination than in the lawless, crumbling city of Baghdad today. Backers of the war in Iraq—Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, not to mention hawks like Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania—jumped on the word and used it in speeches dozens of times.

Parvez Ahmed, chairman of the Council on American Islamic Relations, says bin Laden’s word choices distort Islam for the world, and he wishes the president would take more care. When Ahmed heard "caliphate" Wednesday morning, he thought of the way Bush used the word "crusade" after September 11. "There’s a fundamental misunderstanding with the president and his advisers on core Islamic issues," Ahmed said. "He’s getting bad advice, they’re misinformed on Islamic terminology." Either that, or he’s making a strategic rhetorical choice.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

It’s really sort of simple:

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends.

The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;)

3. Keep learning:

Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend, who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER. (Sebastianjoshua is here for u)

6. The tears happen:

Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:  

Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:

If it is good, preserve it.

If it is unstable, improve it.

If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

And if you don't send this to at least a thousand people - who cares?

But do share this with someone.

1. Samy Vellu and his Stamps

When Samy Vellu completed 25 years of his role as a politician over Malaysia, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He insisted the stamp to be of international quality. When the stamps were duly released, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious.  He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Samy Vellu.

He said: "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"

2. Sammy Vellu and his old boss, Mahathir

General Musharaf, Samy Vellu, Mahathir and Gloria Arroyo are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of  the tunnel. Arroyo and Musharaf are sitting there looking perplexed. Samy Vellu is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.   All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Musharaf is thinking:  "These Malaysians are all crazy after Arroyo. Samy must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him."

Arroyo is thinking: "Samy must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Musharaf instead and got slapped."

Samy is thinking: "Damn it, Musharaf must have tried to kiss Arroyo, she thought it was me and slapped me."

Mahathir is simply thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Samy again.

3. The Pepsi Argument

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story, too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from the chair and replied: "Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

Don't laugh -- the man won!

4. Tough Questions...........

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally challenged, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.

Question 2:

It is time to elect a New World leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:

Candidate A:

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chains smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B:

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.

Candidate C:

He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt

Candidate B is Winston Churchill

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

And by the way, the answer to the abortion question:

If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it?

Makes a person think before judging someone. Remember amateurs built the ark - Professionals built the Titanic.

5. Joke of the day....

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the Meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

One week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" he asked.

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It looks like it's going to b e one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."