Group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: If you noticed, all the nice! looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups.

Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it.

So folks, don't let the cups drive you, enjoy the coffee instead.

The Train Set

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one."

She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember that there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please direct your complaints to the fat bitch in the kitchen. 

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them

kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said: "You

think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."

"A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got

married and got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my

stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my father

became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her

father-in-law."

"Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy

was my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the

son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son. That made

me the grand-father of my half-brother."

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister

of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother. This makes my

father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's

wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child'saunt, my son is my father's nephew & I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!" "And

you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!

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At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor, was about to

deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table,

sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.

A guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife has sent you a KISS

before you begin your speech. She must love you very much."

The speaker replied, "You don't know my wife. The letters stand for

'Keep It Short, Stupid'."