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| IT'S MY LIFE |
| 06.01.05 (2:22 pm) [edit] |
Hi there....
hmmm... nothing much to say these day.... nearly a month my body felt weak and tired... may be it is because of stress.
wanna feel my stress.... imagine this.... u got 3 hyperactive kids age 6 (male) 4 (female) and 2 (male)... evernight u have to 'entertain' them... 6 am u have to wake them up and send them to baby sitter before 7.15 am otherwise u will miss the train.
once u reach your workplace.... it is already 8.30 am... from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm... u sat infront of the computer doing nothing.... share market drop like hell... only about 30 phone call per day.... my brain is already dead
errr... i got a meeting... got to go now
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| Woman... married with Monster |
| 05.25.05 (4:14 pm) [edit] |
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living
room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Viennaor anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbulon a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed,
I can stay up by myself.
:wink:
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| Jokes from Internet... |
| 05.24.05 (3:15 pm) [edit] |
Chicken and Duck (Ayam Sembang dengan Itik)
Who's On First for the Next Generation!
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man’s name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he’s dead in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the UN
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
:wink:
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| FUNNY.... a story from email |
| 05.20.05 (4:02 pm) [edit] |
This is too funny! It takes all kinds to make the world go round. Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is easy to see happening, customer service being what it is....
My Aunt died this past January. CitiBank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance hadbeen $0.00... now it was somewhere around $60.00
I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:
Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections"
CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."
Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau maybe both!"
Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
CitiBank:"...excuse me .?"
Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being dead?"
CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"
(Supervisor gets on the phone)
Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
CitiBank: ".....(stammer)" .... "Are you her lawyer?"
Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given... )
CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given ) ( After they get the fax. )
CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for death"
Me: "Oh..."
CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."
Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose...don't really think she will care...."
CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."
Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"
CitiBank: "That might help."
Me: "Nilai Memorial Park Cemetery (North South Highway and plot number given.)
CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
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| EASY and DIFFICULT Final Episode.... |
| 05.19.05 (10:09 am) [edit] |
EASY is to make mistake
Difficult is to learn from them
EASY to weep for a lost love
DIFFICULT is to take care of it so as not to lose it
EASY is to think about improving
DIFFICULT is to stop thinking and put it into action
EASY is to bad of others
DIFFICULT is to give them the benefit of the doubt
EASY is to receive
DIFFICULT is to give
EASY is to read this
DIFFICULT is to follow them
EASY is to keep friendship with words
DIFFICULT is to keep it with meaning
The language of friendship is not words, but in the demostration
The world is like a mirror, you see? Smile, and your friends smile back
If you plant is for a year, plant rice
If you plant is for a decade, plant tree
If you plant is for a life time, educate children
:wink:
so gonzoid... it is easy for u to comment me... but it is difficult for me to comment u... 'coz u block me from comment u....
:twisted:
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| EASY and DIFFICULT Part 2 of 3 |
| 05.18.05 (2:08 pm) [edit] |
EASY is to admire a full moon...
DIFFICULT to see the other side
EASY is to stumble with a stone...
DIFFICULT is to get up
EASY is to enjoy life everyday...
DIFFICULT to give its real value
EASY is to pray every night...
DIFFICULT is to find GOD in small things
EASY is to promise something to someone...
DIFFICULT is to fulfill that promise
EASY is to say we love
DIFFICULT is to show IT everyday
EASY is to criticize others...
DIFFICULT is to improve oneself
so gonzoid.... for me, it is easy to post all these things but DAMN... all are not mine...
:wink:
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| EASY AND DIFFICULT.... Part 1 of 3 |
| 05.17.05 (9:09 am) [edit] |
EASY is to get a place in someone's address book
DIFFICULT is to get a place in someone's heart
EASY to judge the mistakes of others
DIFFICULT is to recognize our own mistakes
EASY is to talk without thinking
DIFFICULT is to refrain the tongue
EASY is to hurt someone who loves us
DIFFICULT is to heal the wound
EASY is to forgive others
DIFFICULT is to ask for fogiveness
EASY is to set rules
DIFFICULT is to follow them
EASY is to dream every night
DIFFICULT is to fight for a dream
:?
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| GET YOUR PROMOTION NOW... |
| 05.16.05 (2:22 pm) [edit] |
Hi Boss
People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes
People who do less of work...
make less mistakes
People who do no work.....
make no mistakes
People who make no mistakes.....
gets promoted
That's why i spend most of my time
sending emails and playing games at work
I NEED A PROMOTION
:wink:
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| This is WHY... the Lawyers are DAMN RICH |
| 05.12.05 (9:57 am) [edit] |
Original Wording
I WANT TO EAT BURGERS WITH YOU
THE LAWYER WILL SAY
1. I WANT TO EAT BURGERS WITH YOU. For the avoidance of doubt, the foregoing shall not be construed to mean that i want to eat a burger that has u in, on or under it
2. ... +++ shall not being construed to mean that i want to eat a burger that has you (or any part of you) in, on or under it, AND shall be construed only to mean that i want you to eat a burger and me to eat a burger at the same time and in the same place
a) AT THE SAME TIME means the comsumption of the first person's burger by the first person at approximately the same time of the comsumption of the second person's burger by the second person, AND
b) IN THE SAME PLACE means to the geographic location at which such burgers are comsumed and does not, for the avoidance of doubt, refer to any part of any burger
i) THE FIRST PERSON'S BURGER means the burger (whether made of beef, chicken, lamb or the flesh of any other animal) owned by that person... ... ... ... consumption of the first person burger within 10 minute of the commencement of comsumption... ... ... ... delivery of notice in writting (signed by the second person) by the second person to the first person which states that the second person has determined that it will not finish the comsumption of said second person's burger......
ii) IN THE SAME PLACE means the first person shall consume the first person's burger whilst seated at a table (the "TABLE") and the second person shall consume the second person burger's whilst seated at the TABLE
:wink:
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| Corporate Lesson - What U Should Know |
| 05.11.05 (10:28 am) [edit] |
Just for people who like to watch Apprentice - Donald Trump Show
Lesson 1 : A crow and a rabbit
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him " Can I also sit like u and doing nothing all day long?" The crow answered " Sure, why not"
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, Jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story : to be sitting and doing nothing u must be sitting very, very high up
Lesson 2 : A turkey an a bull
" I dont have any energy to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey. "well, why dont u nibble on some of my dropping, they're packed with nutrients" replied the bull.
So the turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength. After a few days eating dung, the turkey manage to fly to the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who promply shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story : Bullshit might get u to the top but it won't keep u there
Lesson 3 : A bird and a cow shit
A little bird flying south for the winter, it was so cold and he fell to the ground. While lying there, a cow came by and and dropped some dung on it. As a frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it begin to realize how warm it was. He lay there all warm and happy and soon he begin to sing for joy
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. The cat dicovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promply dug him out and ate him.
The moral of the story : Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. And when you are in deep shit, keep your mouth shut
:wink:
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| CAN U PRONOUNCE PROPER ENGLISH |
| 05.10.05 (3:38 pm) [edit] |
If you think so you should try this simple test
WOLF ROOF ROOF
WOOF WOLF ROOF
WOOF WOLF ROOF
WOOF WOOF WOLF
WOLF ROOF ROOF
WOLF WOOF WOLF
WOOF WOOF ROOF
well check your result now
test result
GOOD DOG
now stop barking and get back to work
:wink:
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| WORDS WOMEN USE - careful |
| 05.09.05 (3:08 pm) [edit] |
FINE - this is the word women use to end the agrument when they are right and you need to shut up
FIVE MINUTES - if she is getting dressed, this is half an hour - 5 minutes is only 5 minutes if u have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the games before helping around the house
NOTHING - this is the calm before the storm. this means "something" and you should be on your toe. Agruments that begin with "nothing" usually end with "fine"
GO AHEADS - this is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT
LOUD SIGH - although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "LOUD SIGH" means she think u are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and agruing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OK - this is one of the most dangerous statement that woman can make to a man. "that's ok" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS - this is the least used of all word in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it, just say u are welcome and back out of the room slowly.
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| Just For Woman |
| 05.03.05 (2:19 pm) [edit] |
1. Behind every succesful woman is herself
2. A woman is like a tea bag, you dont know how strong she is until you put her in hot water
3. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and and a career
4. Coffee, Chocolate, MEN some things are just BETTER RICH
5. WARNING! I have an attitude and i know how to use it
6. Of course i dont look busy, i did it right THE first TIME
7. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen
:wink:
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Me me mE
Warong RadenJoWorld
Just for UMNO Members
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